It has been one year. Already. I’ve never had anyone close to me die before then. I’ve been “lucky” I guess in that way. I’ve lost people but if they passed I wasn’t really old enough and understanding of it all, I should say. But, it happened as it is bound to in life. It was one of the saddest days, naturally.
I was at my doctor appointment for my 36-week checkup. I was pregnant with Liana. I got a phone call as I was leaving the office. Perfect timing actually, because the branch I was at, was basically attached to the hospital. My mom called to let me know they were taking grandpa from the Convalescent home he had been staying at to the ER. ( He had a rough point up to then. Without going into everything that he was struggling with and declining in, just know he had Dementia too) While he was there he got worse. It’s sad and hard to see anyone go through that, and of corse more so someone you care about. Family.
So, at the hospital that day, I met my mom and grandmother to see what was going on. Things apparently had gotten worse, and they told us they didn’t know if he’d make it through the night. The rest of the family had come down to wait it out. He passed in the hospital, and we all got to go in and be around him.
It’s always hard dealing with death. I still don’t get it. It still doesn’t phase me sometimes. I can’t believe you just don’t get to see someone anymore. Ever. It’s just crazy. It’s also a whole other thing when someone has passed right in front of you, and you can see them just being there. But Gone. You have that last image of them like that, forever. Without much detail of all that, just know I was upset and stressed. While being in the last month of my pregnancy (go figure) so it was rough all around.(I honestly believe no matter what I’m told that it aided in my going into labor which will be in the next blog post but, that’s just me.)
You obviously have pictures and memories to help get you through. But time doesn’t care – it’s going to keep moving forward. So you hold onto the good and special things, and the person will always live through you. One of the things that’s cool is that we share a birthday. I know even though he’s gone, but I still get to share that with him, so it’s great.
This post could be so long if I went into everything. What he was like, what he’s done..and all of the memories. But I’ll leave it at:
~ Rest in peace gramps, we love you and miss you. ❤ ~